The Legend of Tata Patna

"What is Science ?" the voice reveberated in the lobby that winter morning as I was climbing the stairs to second floor where classes for first years are held.I was already late for the class."Be careful with your chemistry class" is what my senior had reminded me the previous evening.My watch showed quarter past Nine,the lectures begin at Nine which meant I was late by Five minutes.I kept my watch Tem minutes ahead of normal time but somehow the fact that my watch was Ten minutes ahead of time was always there at the back of my mind so I ended up doing things at my own sweet pace. "Shouldn't have ordered another Paratha ! " I thought thinking about the breakfast I had just had .Cursed the mess boy for taking ten minutes to bring one simple paratha.So the mess boy or "Butroo" as we called them was to be blamed for my delay and not me.I cannot say this to proffy though.Deep within I knew it wasn't my fault.It was a reassuring feeling with lot of unease.Unease because in moments I would be confronting the deadliest,cacophonously vociferous legend of our college fondly known as "Tata Patna" amongst students.Me preyed on young innocent minds,he was a tormentor."Tata Patna is an interesting name wonder how he got that name " I thought for a while as I was walking .."This is not a good time to think about this " quickly shrugging it off my mind.I had to quickly think of a reason read excuse with a proper explanation incase he asked.It had to be better than an excuse it had to be a master excuse if ever there is such a word."Got up with fever" wouldnt work."My roomie wore the only undy I had" sounds interesting but wouldnt work."Forgot my way to class" is a daft excuse ."Woke up with Amnesia in the morning ,have just regained memory" wouldnt work either."I'm a dead man" was the next thought "He will eat me alive for his Breakfast" I prayed his wife had given hime a good breakfast ."Seniors caught me on my way to class" Hmmmmmmm could work.we were the oppresed,we were gullible and hold up was not new to college .There was an unwritten protocol in college "Blame it on seniors but never ever in eternity mention their names".Nothing better than tried and tested it wasn't a time for creativity to flow,anyways I am never at my creative best so earky in the morning. "He just rapes you if you are visible in class" said one senior some time back.I did not know what he meant,how can some be invisible in class yet be present ? What a daft question ,I know a guy who could do it ....Mr India but he existed only in movies.I wished I had the invisibility band of Mr.India,just use it for entering the class and regain visibility once inside.How did he get named after a Train ??Tata Patna is a daily express train running between Tata and Patna.Is it the speed of his speech which makes him akin to TP or is it the sheer noise he makes or does his face resemble the Locomotive with all those round edges and a big fat nose."Tata Patna always leaves at 9" I remembered someone saying this as he referred to punctuality of the train."Tata Patna" my mentor is never late to class.There it was,a plausible exlpanation behind this little naming connundrum.I took a bow to my self for this feat,there was a sense of elation and my face was gleaming with pride but I had no time to celebrate."Tata Patna" was one of the finest professors in the college.He had an esteemed reputation and was revered among his fraternity.Revered by a bunch of old wrinkle faced world bashing oldies doesnt mean he his genuinly liked by all but this wasn't the time to be honest there was a larger peril looming over my head.My survival depended on it ."Yes You at the back !!" I heard his crisp voice loud and clear as I neared the class room.It was like rattling of a sten gun.I felt a bit unease in stomach "Damn those Parathas !!".The unease grew stronger and I could feel the guts of my stomach churning out extra juices which made me sick."I'm not well " I thought and there was the escape route.what if I didnt go to his class at all that way I could easily escape the torment.Why did I not think of this earlier.I did not have the keys to my room that was another problem .I couldnt just wander in the college as that would mean even more danger.Danger of falling prey to seniors waiting in anticipation like a pack like hunting dogs near canteen.They feasted on freshers who drif away from their pack.All of a sudden I could visualise the scenes often repeated on Nat Geo,the ones in which wild dogs hunt in pack,suddenly serengetti didnt feel that far .I decided to take a chance with seniors.what if they have an important lecture to attend or are simply not in the mood for a fun session .I turned back to leave where at a distance I saw a lowly figure standing and watching me.He looked familiar , I had spoken to hime recently.Holy cow he was the warden and I had spoken to him in morning about quality or the lack of it ,of food in mess.He walked up to me and inquired about the issue."Got late in the mess sir" I replied honestly ."Whose class is it ?"came another question. "Tata....." came the instant reply followed by long pause trying to remember the real name of Tata Patna "err..Chemistry class sir.." I replied ."And where were you going ?" bang another volley, he could have been a ace interogator. "I'm not feeling good sir,must be something I ate " I said with a convincingly feeble voice holding my tummy. "Tata Patna does that to lot of guys "said the warden with a grin."Get your ass inside the class and dont you dare run away " came next dictat ,smirk wiping out the grin.
So I turned back again to take my ass right back to where it should have been fifteen minutes back.I stood at the door,there inside the class he stood with his back towards me shouting at peak of his voice "You guys do not know what is science and you have come here to become an Engineer".Talk about perfect timing. "Can I come in Sir" I said with the feeblest of voices and after taking a long breath.There was a silence as all heads turned towards me,his wa the last one.He turned slowly towards me.He was an old man with medium height in late fifties with almost bald head but for a few remanats of silver.He wore a brown blazer and a sweater over his shirt.His face had more wrinkles and scruples than railway line on India's map.He wore thick soda glass lens.You could have made a crate full of soda bottles out of them.I stood there in silence ,waiting for him to lash out at me.Whole class waited in anticipation too .I would be a butt of jokes for days to come."What have I done !! no more extra parathas ".
"You have paid fees in this college and you have all the right to enter the class without my permission" he said reiterating each and every word with slight pauses so that it is fully understood by those inside the class and the entire world outside and he did well. Message taken but I couldnt move my feet,I was waiting for his expletives but they never came . As I glanced towards the class the guys at the last bench were gestering me to come in.The first benchers as usual went back to scribbling each and every word coming out of TP's mouth.As I walked in slowly I heard a voice "I hate to be interrupted so please bear in mind" I knew the message was directed at entire class.I saw some guys even scribbling it down.May be it was his off day,may be his wife had prepared his favourite breakfast or may be he had lost a bit of steam with age.I couldn't believe the let off I just had.God did listen to prayers at quarter past nine.I walked past all the rows till I could walk no further,there at a corner I took my seat at the last row quietly trying to be invisible.I had survived the legend of Tata Patna without much damage .The demon had been exorcised.


~GOA